Away With The Darkness...I Want To See The LIGHT!!

I am in such a dark place right now!
I have been avoiding this blog mostly b/c I've failed (so miserably!!!) this week!!
I did so good last week and, for reasons I can't explain, I chose to fall off the wagon!!
It started Sat. I did well up until after lunch...then it was downhill from there!! I figured I'd start again Mon. and I did...in the AM but come the middle of the day---BOMB!!!
Every bite is delicious but at the same time I cringe at the fact that I am sabotaging ALL the hard work I've done!!
WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF??!!
I feel so all alone right now!!
It feels like a darkness that holds me in its' clutches!!
I need to break free!!!
I want to be in a bright place!!
This blog reflects my darkness...I think I need to start HERE!!

I need to get rid of the darkness of it!!
SO...first things first...is HERE!!
From now on, this blog will reflect WHERE I WANT TO BE, NOT where I am!!
I want to be able to come here and feel GOOD...not be reminded of my DARK place!!
I will be working on finding some cheery bright background and a NEW Title Pic!!

This morning I was feeling really bad! But I was on my stationary bike as I wrote this...so that is a start!!
I am having a problem with the exercise, as well as the diet!!
I want to get back to the way I was almost 10 years ago! I lost a good amount of eight for my brother's ( and bro-in-law's) wedding that year.
I got to the point where I was doing 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour at night (on the St. bike)!!
(FYI:I wasn't quite as big then as I am now and I stopped b/c the peddle on my bike broke where I couldn't use it. I did get another but by then I LOST my DRIVE :( )
I felt and looked good. I still battled w/ my depression but was in a much better place to deal with it!
So, I would like to get back to that place. My goal is to get on my bike whenever I can, even if only for 5 mins.!
Again, this month, I don't know if it's the PMS/Menstr. or the sugar (which I seem to CRAVE @ this time!) or both!!
I will continue to follow this goal. This is all I will try this week. If i keep it simple It will be more do-able!! I will try to up the mins. on the bike each week!!
Keep checking back for updates and to check out my NEW look!!
Pray for me...PLEASE.
I can use ALL the SUPPORT I can get!!