Up Against A HUGE Brick Wall

Dearest Lord,

Please rescue me from this mess I call my life!

I feel as if I hit a brick wall and don't quite know how to climb up & over it!
Please Lord, give me strength.

I have realized in my past posts that I make my husband look like a villian of some sort. He isn't a bad person, he just thinks of himself more than anyone. Most of the time I feel as if I am at the VERY bottom of his list. He tends to talk down to me and goes off and does his own thing with no regards to my feelings.

His latest BINGE has hit us pretty hard. Although, I won't go into graphic detail, let's just say that we are short this:



Yup, about $1000 smackaroos!! Nice, huh? All because he can't control himself and just had to go drink more!! This is a problem in itself but last night was a whole new low for him. Let me tell you, he:

1. Put himself in danger
2. Did things I DO NOT approve of (and he knows it!)
3. Put my son and myself in danger
4. Almost got all 3 of us in serious trouble
5. Blew $$ needed for bills!!

Now I have no idea how we are going to do this. We have so much due that losing this $$ is putting us in SERIOUS trouble financially!! We owe so much out!!

On top of all this, I didn't get any sleep last night. I tried but because I was afraid he was going to come home and start, like he has been lately(completely out of control) I just tossed & turned. Then he called me about 2:20am this morning to come get him. After we got home he realized the $$ was missing so we drove back to the bar. We came home again but because he didn't feel comfortable leaving his truck there (by then it was across the street at the Ho Jo), we woke up Tomm to go back (AGAIN) and drive my car home so I could drive his truck. When we got there he saw the guy he thought took the $$ and after over an hour ordeal which BTW included about 6 cop cars, we FINALLY got home after 5am. Needless to say, Tomm and I couldn't go to sleep. I was overtired and wired from the sequence of events!! Now I am SOOOOOO tired!!

RIGHT NOW I JUST WANT TO

Tell me, how am I supposed to keep a positive upbeat attitude
when I have all this working against me?